Chapter 6 – Always Midnight

Maxie walked down the stairs with a smile on her face and another red wig that she borrowed from the Crimson office. This time Spinelli helped her come up with an alias and they together had decided on red hair and the name Delilah. She never pictured herself much as a Delilah, but that was the whole point of disguising herself so it worked perfectly. This was the second time she didn’t have to sneak out the window, Matt was working the night shift at the hospital and Mac had already called her to tell her he was going to be working late again, and late always meant past midnight so she was golden.

Opening the door, ready to walk out she froze in her steps when she recognized a voice that she knew shouldn’t be there “so this is what you do Maxie” she turned around to see Mac sitting on the couch in the living room, just sitting there in the dark “you sneak out to go see him” his voice was calm, which she had grown to learn was much worse than when it was angry.

She went to turn on the light and he stopped her “Don’t, I don’t want to look at you right now” Maxie put her head down; she didn’t know what to say. She had never meant to make him mad or hurt him, but he was being ridiculous and unfair when he wanted her to stay away from Spinelli.

She opened her mouth to speak but he continued, not giving her the chance “I’ve told you he’s dangerous and you continue to see him” his voice was now rising “he’s a criminal Maxie, he’s a killer”

“No” she stopped him there “he is not a killer” she wasn’t able to control the anger and defense that came from her voice and her eyes now flickered a different shade, much different from recently excited eyes “he is kind and compassionate and he’s the best man that’s ever happened to me.” She was furious that she had to defend Spinelli again and furious that she was having this fight again and furious at herself that she had gotten caught.

“How long have you been doing this Maxie?” Mac voice returned to calm and she looked up at him “how long have I been lied to like this?”

“It’s not like that” she put her bag down on the ground and walked toward him, but he put his hand up to stop her from coming any closer.

Again, she was about to explain and he interrupted her “do you take me for an idiot Maxie?”

“No” she paused and tried to think of the best way to try and explain this, but in her heart there wasn’t anything she could say to him, not right now that he would understand “I just had to see him” she couldn’t help the emotion that came from her voice, it was evident how much Spinelli meant to her.

“Maxie putting on a wig doesn’t make you safe” his voice remained calm but now had a hint of fear in it, which made her feel even worse “you shouldn’t be around him Maxie, it’s too dangerous.”

She wanted to scream, there was that shouldn’t word again and he didn’t understand that she needed him in her life for so many reasons. “Maxie” he spoke again, which surprised her “I forbid you to see him, no more sneaking around Maxie, you’re done with him.”

Maxie was taken aback at how he could say something so absurd so calm “you forbid me?” it was more of a question of how he could forbid her. Her voice was shaky now, from anger, from fear, from determination.

“Maxie you go see him again” he looked down trying not to face her “I just can’t let you do that, you have to stay away from him”

“I can’t” it was a strong declaration from her shaky frame. She was fine to just keep seeing him in disguise it was working perfectly, perfectly.

His voice rose and anger was apparent again “Damn it Maxie are you trying to get yourself killed you stay away from him or”

“I love him” she gasped and covered her lips with her shaky hand. She hadn’t said it out loud and she whispered it again to herself “I love him” he had said it to her and she had smiled, afraid of what saying it meant, and here standing in front of the man that was trying to keep her away from him she said what she knew would bring them even closer “I love him and I’m not staying away” she said with newfound determination and strength.

She picked up her bag and walked toward the door, she was done fighting, arguing about something that she wasn’t willing to back down from. Maybe he understood and maybe he didn’t.

“Maxie you walk out that door” she turned when she heard him spoke. She didn’t want it to come to this; she didn’t want him to make her choose. She loved Mac so much, he was her father, but he hadn’t come to the realization that she had. There was no place safer than Damien Spinelli’s world. A world that was full of kindness, love, and orange soda, despite what anybody told her.

She stopped, turned to look at him and walked towards him. She smiled and kissed him on the cheek “I love you Dad” that’s all she could say, she didn’t know what else there was to tell him. Then she turned and walked out.

Spinelli furiously tapped away at his computer. Stone Cold needed information and quick. They had just found out from Sam that Jake had been taken from what they thought was a safe cabin. Spinelli couldn’t believe that the Russian Mob would endanger a young child, but then again he knew the Russians were ruthless.

He turned to Jason, who stood starring at the window “Stone Cold” he asked, feeling as if he was interrupting something.

Jason turned to him with urgency in his eyes “we have to leave”

“The grasshopper doesn’t comprehend” Spinelli looked at him not sure what he meant.

Jason interrupted him before he could finish “They will be coming soon to be here when we make our move, we have to be one step ahead of them” Spinelli nodded, understanding and a tad unsure why he was going with Jason, that was something new. As Jason headed to the stairs to get some things ready he heard a knock at the door. Holding his hand up to stop Spinelli, he looked through the peephole and saw Maxie standing there.

“Take care of this Spinelli” he looked at him, trying not to sound so harsh, but there wasn’t time for interruptions. He turned toward Spinelli, not sure he knew what kind of situation they were in “whoever is seen with us, is in immediate danger, remember that Spinelli, remember that” he saw Maxie’s face through the peephole and could tell she was upset. He knew it was going to be difficult for Spinelli to ask her to leave, but he had to make Spinelli understand that there was no other option.

Spinelli nodded, having a good idea who was behind the other side of the door. Swinging the door open he saw her standing there, no wig and tear stained cheeks.

“Maximista” the fear in his voice was evident and he hated to see the evidence of tears on her beautiful palette.

“I had a big fight with Mac” she got out with a reassuring nod that she was okay, she could hear the fear in his voice and she wanted him to hold her. She started to walk into the door, but he walked out first and closed the door behind him.

“Spinelli, what’s going on?” He had never done that before, she had always been welcome into the penthouse, always.

“Maximista, now is a most essential time for the Jackal and Stone Cold”

She interrupted him, she knew how to speak Spinelli, what he meant was there was mob business going on “That’s fine, I won’t bother you while you work, I promise.” Even she knew what she was saying was not going to work, he hadn’t let her in for a reason. A reason she still couldn’t fathom.

“It’s not like that Fair Maximista” looking down he didn’t know what to say. She hadn’t explained what the fight between her and the Law Abiding One was about, but he feared he knew all too much what it surrounded. He knew she needed him, and he didn’t know how he could ask her to leave when all he wanted was to be with her and make those tear stains a mere distant memory.

“Please don’t ask me to leave” her voice cracked again, and the determination that she had gained from Mac with her declaration of love was gone. She didn’t know what to say, and again she couldn’t fight the tears. She nuzzled her forehead on his chest and wrapped her arms around his waist, not wanting him to see how weak she was at that moment “please” escaped her lips again.

The sound of your heart,
my head on your chest,
dropped your hands to your sides
and gave up.

He took a deep breath, and gripped his fists together at his sides, he knew he couldn’t hold her, not then, not at that moment. He couldn’t believe he was the reason for her tears twice, twice now. But he knew this was one of those moments where whoever she was at the moment, red hair, brown hair, blonde hair, she couldn’t be near him.

His lack of words made it clear to her that he was going to ask her to leave. She stepped away from him, removing her hands from his waist and dropped them to her sides. She didn’t have the energy nor the care to wipe her tears, she just didn’t care. “Fine” she wanted to try and be understanding, she knew it must be important, but she just couldn’t understand.

“It’s the danger Maximista, we must make ourselves scarce” she took a deep breath to control herself, the danger, the ridiculous danger she always kept hearing about. And then the fact that they had to make themselves scarce. “The Jackal promises to explain” he paused and his tone changed, and was even more serious if that was even possible “I just can’t right now”

I'd rather be crazy than right Tonight

She took a step away from him “Fine” she muttered again, it seemed to be the only word registering through her hurt and anger. All reason was out the door and all she saw at that moment was him abandoning her “Fine” she stopped walking and just stood there starring at him.

He knew was she was thinking, he knew what was she feeling, and he didn’t want her to think or feel that. If he could just explain, but it would put her too much at risk “I promise I’m not leaving you.” and he knew his words were nothing, and he didn’t blame her.

“Fine” she muttered again and she stopped walking and any control she had left was gone. She put her defenses the only way she knew how and somehow her tears stopped. “I was tired of this anyway” her voice immediately changed “too much effort and for what” she shrugged her shoulders and wiped her face “I’ll just go find somebody worth it, somebody who can give me what I need”

She regretted it immediately when she saw the look on his face. Part of her wanted to apologize but she couldn’t, every time words left her lips it reminded her of the realization she had come to earlier that night and the feeling of when “I love him” escaped her lips. Somehow she had known that once she said it, it would get ruined.

She knew she should’ve stopped but she couldn’t. She was now mad at herself for what she was saying and so she continued to hurt him, which evidently hurt her. “But thanks” she paused and fixed straightened her hair and paused to look down at the ground before looking up to face him as his eyes rested on the floor “if I ever have a computer problem I know where to go.”

She took a deep breath, turned around, and walked towards the elevator; she was stunned; she didn’t want to leave him like this. Turning back she went to say something, anything, but the door was already shut and he was inside. All her wigs, all her ideas, all her attempts, and she still ruined it.

Spinelli shut the door quickly and rested his forehead against the edge. He closed his eyes tightly and gritted his lips together. Her words stung him and deep down he knew she only said them because she was hurting, well deep down he hoped. He also hoped that she would just go home or to be with Robin. Part of him was glad she had said those things, he felt he deserved what she was saying, but he didn’t want to hear those things. Not for her, not from the one he cherished and loved. He also knew he had to stop himself somehow or he would open it and run to her, and he couldn’t not right now. He couldn’t put her life in danger and he had to help Stone Cold. But he hated it, he hated that he had to make that kind of choice and the realization was that he was done. He was done making choices like that. For once he just wanted to be the weak computer tech beside the scenes, so he could be with her. But Stone Cold was counting on him, and he knew that, but still it didn’t matter.

Jason came down the stairs and saw Spinelli standing there, defeated “you okay?” he asked already knowing the answer to his question. “She’ll understand Spinelli, she will” he didn’t answer him, nor look at him; he couldn’t bare to look at anybody. Not because he was mad at Jason, he was just mad. So he just closed his laptop and put it in his bag knowing that he had already made his choice, so there was nothing else to do but follow through.

Maxie stepped out of her car and adjusted her makeup and hair a bit. She crossed the street carefully and the lights to the sign of Jakes got brighter. She didn’t need a disguise tonight, she knew exactly who she was. She was Maxie Jones, and she was going to get what she wanted. She wanted somebody completely unlike Spinelli, somebody rude, cocky, somebody who wanted one thing. Somebody who wouldn’t care about her at all and she spotted him right away.

**Title of this chapter and sort of the mood of the chapter came from the song Always Midnight by Pat Monahan, it’s an amazing song and that is also where the little snipped of lyrics came from also.