Empty bottles on my nightstand

Checking her phone and email for what seemed like the four hundredth time she sat on her bed and ran her fingers frantically through her hair. It had been a week since she had last seen or spoken to Spinelli and she was growing more agitated by the day. She had tried everything she could think of, she called him, texted him, emailed him, and she even created a new account trying to lure him into responding to her. But she foolishly forgot that she was trying to con the Jackal on a computer issue, like that was ever going to happen.

Looking over at her nightstand she groaned at the four empty bottles of orange soda that occupied the wooden table. Truth be told she wasn’t that fond of orange soda, but she just couldn’t stop drinking the stuff. For some crazy reason she felt it was some way she could reach Spinelli, have him feel how she needed him. But all it did was aggravate her at the ridiculous sugar rush and the stain it had caused on her new sweater.

Lying backwards on her bed she felt her shoulder rub against the hard surface that had occupied most of her time the past week. She had looked over and over and over at the book that Spinelli had made for her. It was one of the most thoughtful gifts she had ever received and she cherished it, because of the man who had made it for her. Flipping through the pages she smiled at all of his thoughts, words, intelligence, and findings of beauty.

Turning the page that consisted of classical lyrical melodies she heard a sticky sound and noticed that two pages had been stuck together. Pulling them apart she realized she must have gotten some of that orange soda on her book as a stain was left on the beautiful handcrafted pages. Sighing she felt bad that he had ruined even an inch of this book, but Maxie also smiled because it was Spinelli’s choice of beverage.

Tracing her hand over the page, this one would be added to her favorites because it consisted of handwriting from Spinelli and some personal words from Spinelli.

One of the Jackal’s most favorite expressive words of poetry, it’s beauty to be shared with the Fair Maximista in hopes that a smile may embrace her lovely face.

The Human Touch

‘Tis the human touch in this world that counts
The touch of your hand and mine,
Which means far more to the fainting heart
Than shelter and bread and wine;
For shelter is gone when the night is o’er
And bread last only a day
But the touch of the hand and the sound of the voice
Sing on in the soul alway.

Spencer Michael Free

Closing the book she pulled it up against her chest, she had never been moved by words. Pictures of fashion and dresses and shoes, but not words. It was as if Spinelli knew how to reach her in every way imaginable and she wasn’t about to give that up. Looking around her room, she knew she had to do something, and she knew exactly who was going to be able to help her.

Spinelli sat on the middle cushion of the couch trying to focus on his computer screen and complete all of the tasks for Stone Cold. Yet, it seemed that every minute he pulled up an email from the Fair Maximista. He couldn’t help but smile at the fact that she had managed to create a new account, for what he assumed was an attempt for him to respond. He had read every email, read every text, and listened to every voicemail. He longed to see her or talk to her but not at the chance at putting her in danger.

He heard Jason coming down the stairs and he quickly stood up from the couch “Stone Cold, the Jackal is in dire need of sound advice”

Looking at Spinelli, Jason somehow already knew what kind of advice Spinelli was in need of. “Is this about Maxie?”

“Precisely” Spinelli paused and was saddened at the sound of her name. Saddened that he hadn’t had the pleasure of her company for a week “how does Stone Cold complete such a dreaded task as staying away from those the heart desires?”

Jason listened to Spinelli, who usually offered words of optimism and wisdom, and although Jason never said it, Spinelli had been his source of advice many times. “I honestly don’t know Spinelli.”

Spinelli was almost disappointed. His master didn’t offer him anything, and he was trying so hard to grab hold of something that would give him an explanation at the emptiness he was feeling. And just when Spinelli was about to speak Jason continued.

“You just have to Spinelli. You have to get past the emptiness and realize that it’s better feeling empty because you don’t have them in your life than to find one day that you took theirs away from them.”

Spinelli felt even more disappointed, that was just sad. Spinelli watched him as he walked over to the desk to go through paperwork, and Spinelli walked towards his computer but couldn’t help the question that he knew he had to ask “don’t you ever want out?”

Jason maintained his calm expression, turned to look at Spinelli and answered him point blank “every day of my life.”

And for the first time Spinelli felt anger towards Stone Cold. Anger, that the most powerful man he knew couldn’t get out of a life he despised. And that pedestal that Spinelli constantly put Jason on, somehow got a little lower, but Spinelli knew it wasn’t simple, it wasn’t like moving from waiter at Kelly’s to a manager at the Metro Court, what came with the mob was danger that didn’t just go away.

The truth was when Spinelli first found himself in Port Charles he had never expected that he would find and connect with somebody like Maxie. He spent the beginning of his time trying to court the Original Blonde One, but somehow deep down he knew that she wasn’t the one that his heart would ache for. And that’s why it was easy following around Lulu because he honestly felt that it would never amount to anything close to a romantic relationship. She was special, that was for sure, but she wasn’t special to the Jackal like Maxie was. And even though he wasn’t exactly sure how Maxie felt about him, he couldn’t forget that beautiful night on the couch and the words she had echoed recently, and he knew that there was something. He had felt guarded and able to slightly hide behind criminal activity as a way to avoid getting close to others outside of that prestigious circle, but Maxie broke the mold on that one. And that circle he had longed to feel a part of in the beginning was now the circle he longed to escape.

Jason interrupted his thoughts with business “did you find the information I asked for?”

Spinelli turned to his computer, and looked directly at the file that Stone Cold spoke of. He wanted to tell him he didn’t find it, he wanted to tell him he was done with this, done with the illegal hacking, done with the crime, done with the killing, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t turn his back on the first person in Port Charles who offered him not just a place to sleep but a home. But Spinelli wanted better, he wanted better for both of them, but he knew now wasn’t the time to ask for better so he settled and told Jason every bit of information he needed.

Maxie took a deep breath, and knocked on the wooden door in front of her. She had to admit to feeling some excitement, because she knew she was about to get some idea or wisdom that she must have overlooked. Seeing the door open she saw her lovely brunette friend standing in front of her.

“Maxie” Sam said sounding a little surprised; not that she wasn’t happy to see her, but she just wasn’t expecting her.

“Sam I need your help” Maxie spoke urgently.

“Come on in” Sam said with a smile, and could tell from Maxie’s voice that she was in need of a friend right now.

After they both took a seat, there was a bit of silence. Maxie couldn’t figure out how to begin the story. How could she express how much she needed Spinelli in her life. So she just began, and tried to take it from the top “You see it all started when Kelly’s got burned down and Mike got attacked, which I’m sure you heard about” pausing for a moment she looked at Sam as she nodded and then continued “well the Russians must have seen me and they must have followed me because they sort of attacked me in the park”

Sam interrupted “Maxie did they”

And not letting Sam finish, figuring she knew what she was going to ask, and she didn’t want to stop her roll of thoughts she quickly answered “but I’m totally fine” and then continued on with her story “but anyway, Spinelli found me because I must have gotten knocked unconscious and he found me lying there in the same spot as Georgie” pausing Maxie looked down as she thought of her sister. How she was brutally attacked in a once beautiful and peaceful park. She thought about her and how much happiness she had given into Maxie’s world and all that she had given her.

Sam interrupted her thoughts “Are you okay Maxie?” she could see the pain in the young woman’s face, and couldn’t imagine what she was feeling at that moment.

“Yeah, I just really miss her” Maxie spoke quietly and slowly, unlike her ramblings before.

Sam walked over to her close friend, who was sitting on the chair next to her couch and gave her a hug; she looked like she desperately needed one. “What did Spinelli do?” She asked as they pulled out of the hug and Sam went to sit back down.

“I’m not exactly sure, all I know is that he saved me, again. I know he took me to the hospital and he was there was I woke up and then my Dad came in, and told Spinelli to leave. Then they exchanged words outside and I can only imagine what he said to Spinelli.” Feeling the need to take a breath, she paused for a second and then continued “And then my Dad came back in and told me that I needed to stay away from Spinelli. I told him I needed him, then he left and Spinelli came by later and he said he needed to make himself scarce for a while, but that I will always own the jackal’s heart.”

Sam smiled as she watched her friend’s face as she spoke of Spinelli. Sam was aware of Spinelli’s feelings for Maxie, and it seemed that Maxie was having some of those same feelings but was either oblivious to them or scared of them.

“And I was like but I need your presence too, then I found out he went after the Russians with Sonny’s gun.”

“WHAT?” Sam interjected again.

“I know right, I was just as concerned. I know Spinelli to be brave and powerful, but he’s also compassionate and has such a big heart, he’s a lover not a fighter you know what I mean?” Maxie said as she spoke like Spinelli was the greatest man to ever walk the streets of her heart, which to her he was.

“Yeah” Sam replied with a smile and a slight laugh “I know exactly what you mean” She too was fond of the brown-haired man with the big heart and canvas bag.

“So anyway, I was at the penthouse with Lulu when Spinelli came back with Johnny and I thought we had resolved the whole thing about Mac and being scarce, but obviously I was wrong. When I went back to the penthouse that night my Dad was there and my bags were packed. I thought I could convince Spinelli, and I pleaded with him that I needed him, but he just kept saying he had to protect me. I just don’t know what to do.”

Maxie finished, and had managed to get that whole story out in what seemed to be a record of four minutes and twenty-one seconds; Sam let the thoughts circulate in her head as she tried to help her friend. Because of her past relationship with Jason, she knew of the danger, but also knew that when very deep feelings are involved the danger takes second place, but then again she wasn’t the daughter of the Commissioner.

“You got any advice?” She looked onto Sam for hope; she needed some sort of plan to start working on, something, anything. She couldn’t just stay home and keep drinking orange soda all day long, at least not by herself.

“You could always sneak out and go see Spinelli” Sam said simply, she knew Maxie had it in her, because they shared past stories of her sneaking out of the house.

“I could definitely do that, I just don’t know how to get Spinelli to see me, I tried calling him and texting him, and emailing him.” Maxie spoke in defeat, Sam definitely gave her a good idea to get past her father, but Spinelli was definitely going to be harder to sneak past.

“Well in my experience every man has a similar weakness”

Maxie interrupted Sam without thinking “I can’t take advantage of Spinelli like that again, and plus he’s not like that, he’s a gentleman” Maxie smiled as she thought about that night, how safe and special he made her feel. She had had many lovers in the past, but none like Spinelli, he was different, he was special, which made her feel even more awful.

Sam seemed confused “What did you cook him?”

“Huh” Maxie replied not really hearing what Sam was saying, Maxie then realized what she was saying and hoped Sam wouldn’t catch on “oh you mean food, right, right I could do that”

“How did you take advantage of him before?” Sam looked at Maxie and somehow she didn’t feel she needed to ask that question.

“What” Maxie quickly changed the subject “so I’m thinking that will help but I just don’t know if that will be enough?”

“Maxie don’t try to change the subject, how did you take advantage of Spinelli.” Maxie in her attempt to avoid Sam’s question just in fact answered it even more point blank than with words.

“Okay fine” Maxie sighed, “I needed to feel safe and he was there, and I feel just awful about it. Spinelli is the one guy in my life who has stood by me without judgment, and still cared for me knowing all of the awful things I have done and am capable of doing. I was so scared after I took advantage of him that he would hate me, but he didn’t. He still treated me with respect and kindness.” Pausing she smiled as she thought of his sweet smile and the way he always managed to make her feel like she could do anything, and all the fun they had together.

“Are you sure that’s how he felt about it?” Sam was curious if Spinelli expressed his feelings after that night.

“I don’t know, he wasn’t angry, I just feel so bad you know.” Pausing, she looked down at her hands and fidgeted she was so scared she would lose his presence back then, and she didn’t, so she was darn sure that she had to do something to get it back now. “Listen, I got to go, thanks for all of your help, you really helped me out and gave me some ideas to think about.” Maxie smiled as she picked up her bag and gave her good friend a quick hug.

As she walked out Sam followed quickly behind and right as Maxie walked out the door Sam stopped her “Hey Maxie” pausing as she waited for Maxie to turn around “just curious how was he?”

Watching Maxie’s face immediately turn to a smile and a slight blush rush to her cheeks, again she didn’t need an answer. “That good huh?” Sam said with a smile as she again replied with a laugh “I knew I should have hit that.”

“Hey” Maxie replied laughing, Sam could be quite the kidder, as Sam turned away Maxie called to her again “Hey Sam, thanks for everything.”

“Anytime” she watched her friend walk away and smiled because she knew that Maxie had fallen for the man she spoke so highly of, they were probably the only ones who couldn’t see it.

Getting in her car Maxie took a sigh as she put her seat belt on. She needed something more; Sam definitely helped her out, by giving her something to start with. Maxie had almost forgot how good she was at sneaking out, so that was no problem, but she needed something that would get Spinelli to think it was safe for her.

Groaning, not being able to think of anything, she figured music might speed up her thinking process. Turning on the radio, the middle of Britney Spears’ womanizer came through her speakers, although she enjoyed the beat, she wasn’t sure that up tempo beat was going to help her figure things out and as she went to change the radio station she thought about the video “Britney and her wigs” she said with a laugh, then she paused and thought for a moment as she let the song finish and something entered into her mind. Something that might just be crazy enough to work.